For most of his life, this simple scribbler had imagined that about 20,000km of the WA coast, a stretch somewhat longer than that of the continental USA, was largely uninhabited, and in desperate need of a little bit of investment.

Not so, is the cry of the latest environmental lobby group to arise in the west. The coast of Australia’s western third is a pristine wilderness that cannot tolerate the slightest disturbance. It must, at all costs, be left undisturbed.

Fuelled by their success at raising the ghost of the flatback turtle on Barrow Island, and troglobites in the iron ore country of the inland Pilbara region, the deep-green protestors are now switching their focus to the astonishingly remote Kimberley coast of far north WA.

Maret Island is one of their targets because that has been identified as a possible site for the Ichthys LNG project. Other protest sites remain to be selected but will be as soon as Woodside and its partners pick a landing point for their Browse Basin project.

For followers of the antics of the environmental lobbyists, none of this is new. In fact, it is so predictable that The Slug wonders why the petroleum industry and assorted layers of governments are not more pro-active in combating these predictable shenanigans.

Take the Maret Island objections as a case study. If the Japanese company Inpex and its newly-acquired French partner, Total, had not named the island as a preferred landing site, no one would have ever heard of the godforsaken place.

But as soon as Maret and the nearby Champagny Island were named as possible LNG plant sites, they became breeding grounds for humpback whales or mating sites for dugongs.

Perhaps they fulfil both of those purposes, but then so do the other 2000 islands which lie around the Kimberley coast – and no doubt, as soon as each one is named as a possible landing site for a gas pipeline, it too will become the location of a rare ecological event or sacred site.

Lateral thinking is needed to combat the deep-greens’ frolics.

The Slug has two suggestions as to how this process might be started.

First, there is the tricky approach (so don’t tell the greens). This involves drafting two lists of possible landing points for LNG processing. List A is dinkum; List B is the fun bit – so it’s best to not get them confused.

The fun list is handed to a public relations consultant (spin doctor) who, at regular intervals, issues media statements naming different islands as possible gas landing points. This could be done at monthly intervals, through a variety of media, slipping a statement, or a well-sourced (or sauced) briefing with a notable pro-green publication such as Melbourne’s Age newspaper – and then watch the reaction. A bit like lighting the blue paper on a firework and watching the pretty lights.

Meanwhile, someone slightly more serious works quietly on List A, asking everyone likely to have a serious objection what they think of the proposed locations. It’s a fair bet that some will get knocked back – but it beggars belief that all 2000 islands and 4000km of coastline must be totally reserved for turtle and dugong mating.

If so, then The Slug is definitely returning in a future life as the male version of a flatback turtle, even if it does mean dying young (but with a broad smile!).

On a more serious note, what we’re watching with Maret and Champagny Islands, plus a thousand other locations, is a complete nonsense driven by a handful of self-promoters and attention seekers who should be exposed for what they are.

Rather than simply sitting back and letting them score cheap (and inaccurate) points at the expense of project promoters, the industry and various levels of government should be doing much more to counter the erroneous claims that LNG developments are bad.

So far, The Slug has heard little in defence of what’s proposed for the LNG industry in the far North West. His fear is that unless someone rises above the noise from the deep-greens, by the time a defence is mounted, half the battle will have been fought (and lost) with the second half simply a doomed game of catch-up.

Speak up now, before it’s too late.

First published in the May issue of Petroleum magazine